Anachronism Stories

Submitted 3rd January 2013
by Ellenor Chaplin, Plume School, Essex, United Kingdom

A caveman was posing for a picture with his Oscar award. He then went home and logged on to Twitter and shared this picture with all his followers.

Submitted 29th November 2012
by Lina Klaa, Roundhay High School, Leeds, United Kingdom

Henry the eighth beckoned his fourth wife and lectured her about forgetting to put his iPhone on charge. She soon lost Henry (divorced) and Henry remarried. This wife stayed around a bit longer, but it didn’t mean she was any better. She was constantly leaving the hoover lying around and don’t get me started on the spending. She was a shopaholic. She never accompanied Henry on his trips to the ice-cream van. Instead, she would walk to PC world or Currys and would spend an hour picking out an i-pad for her nan and a new dishwasher for her mother. She spent up to £1000 pounds on Christmas presents for her family. Henry decided he still loved her and she survived. Unfortunately, the i-Phone didn’t. It broke in the summer of 1543 when one of Henry’s servants tripped on the laces of his Vans shoes. He was, of course, executed.

Submitted 29th November 2012
by Eva Blake, Coombeshead Academy, Newton Abbot, United Kingdom

It was the day of the big race and Emily Davison was tweeting on her i-Phone about her plans for the day.

The race began and Emily ran under the silver lined rope and held a banner up representing the suffragettes and women’s rights. She came face to face with a horse wearing a diamond brown band coming at her going 100 miles per hour. She tried to run but she felt ill and full after the hamburger she ate that day. The Jockey’s plastic goggles fell off along with his plastic number sheet. Everybody watched as Emily Davison of the amazing suffragettes was no more.

Submitted 22nd November 2012
by Sophie Evans, Coombeshead Academy, Newton Abbot, United Kingdom

Henry VIII was sat on his throne changing his Facebook status from ‘married’ to ‘single and ready the mingle’. He closed his laptop and walked out of the room singing to himself Taylor Swift’s latest hit ‘we are never ever ever getting back together. Seriously never!’ And laughed his way out of the room.

Submitted 18th October 2012
by Siang Han Law, Jerudong International School, Brunei Darussalam

It was raining heavily in a roman camp in Britannia. All the Roman soldiers were in the heated dining hall. A Roman soldier was on Myspace. Others were playing Uno. There were Galaxy s3s lying all over the place and Aston Martins were parked in the car park. Someone was watching Gangnam Style on YouTube.

Submitted 11th October 2012
by Isabella Mosel, Mary Carroll High School, Corpus Christi, Texas, United States

The Beatles did not exactly start their career in the normal way. John Lennon had the interesting idea of uploading their band practices on YouTube. They instantly because a sensation with a billion views after a couple of weeks because they were all so adorable. The Beatles dominated the music industry and made One Direction and all the other rappers more than lame.

Submitted 4th October 2012
by Joni McIlroy, Methodist College, Belfast, Northern Ireland

Julius Caesar got out of his car and went into the corner shop and bought some chewing gum. He was nervous about the senate later today. He wanted to look his best for the senate so he went into Hollister and bought a designer toga. Suddenly his iPhone beeped. It was a message from Calpurnia his wife. It said “Don’t got to the senate meeting today. I have just opened a fortune cookie and it said that bad things were going to happen at the senate meeting today.” I put my phone away and pulled up outside the meeting house. Brutus, the man I thought I could trust pulled out a gun….

Submitted 25th September 2012
by Louis Fitzpatrick, Methodist College, Belfast, Northern Ireland

The rain was pelting down on the tavern. There was a knock and the maid went to let the sailor into the inn. After checking in, he sat down with a mug of ale and started to watch the TV. The news was on. ‘And in other news,’ the presenter said,’ France is invading Russia and Napoleon will attack England next. The sailor sighed and drank up his ale. ‘I had better be off to bed, I’m sailing first thing and my taxi comes early, don’t want to be late,’ he said to the land lord. He was up early and ready. When he arrived at the docks, he saw the captain showing the admiral his new laptop. Once on the ship, the health and safety officer gave him a rubber life jacket. There was a storm but the ship sailed through it. after the tempest they had a disco with a DJ and all.

Submitted 21st September 2012
by Phoebe Moss, Bridgewater School, UK

Henry VIII was fed up of all the Tudor food so he yelled at his servants ‘Is there never going to be any new food! This takes ages to prepare!!’ So that night Henry was browsing the web when saw an ad advertising ‘McDonalds is making food faster than ever so come and try our fast food today!!!’ King Henry went to McDonalds straight away! ‘This food is amazing!’ said Henry munching on some fries and chicken nuggets.

Submitted 14th September 2012
by Ellen Knapton, Winterton Comprehensive School, UK

Once upon a time, there lived a vicious Viking called Daniel. One day Daniel missed the battle that he was meant to be fighting in, because his i-phone had failed to remind him. Suddenly, he got a text message telling him he was fired… for life! Daniel thought this was so unfair, so he caught the next bus into town. He stormed straight into the internet cafe and emailed his lawyer. His lawyer replied, ‘I can get you a job behind the counter at McDonalds and I will send you a new upgrade for your phone, as your contract has run out,’ Daniel was fine with this, because with his spare money he bought a brand new watch!

Submitted 29th May 2012
by Maggie Phelan, Coombeshead Academy, Newton Abbot, UK

William of Normandy posted a picture on Facebook of his new land. Harold Godwineson got jealous and commented that his land was bigger, better and newer. Now William could see this turning into a petty Facebook fight, but he just couldn’t help commenting back ‘Let’s have a war-we’ll see who has the better land! Winner gets England?’ Harold agreed so, later that year (1066) the two sides faced each other. Harold was a bit short on men because he didn’t have many contacts on his phone. However William had a secret – grenades! Harold’s side ran away, so the Normans chased them and blew them to smithereens!

Submitted 27th March 2012
by Alejandra Salinas, Mary Carroll High School, Texas, United States

Pocahontas fell in love with John Smith the second he docked his yacht so she secretly sent him messages through Facebook. It was a forbidden love. Pocahontas’ father hacked her Facebook and saw the messages and ordered John to be killed. However, Pocahontas reminded her father that he met his wife on Myspace (back when Myspace was cool.) John was let go and 2 months later John’s and Pocahontas’ relationship status on Facebook went from ‘single’ to ‘married.’