"Would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder
Or a private with a chicken on your knee?"

Performed by Gordon Jenkins
Recorded c. May 1942
(World War I song. 2nd verse is new)

"Would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder
Or a private with a chicken on your knee?"

[verse 1]
Once I heard a father ask his soldier son,
"Son, why can't you advance like the other boys have done?
You've been a private mighty long,
Now c'mon tell me just what's wrong?"
And then the soldier lad
Said, "Listen to me, Dad":

[chorus 1]
"I'd rather be a private than a colonel in the Army,
A private has more fun,
When his work is done;
And when he goes on hikes,
In ev'ry town he strikes
Girls discover him
And they smother him
With things he likes.
But girlies act so shy
When colonel passes by,
He holds his head so high with dignity;
So would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder
Or a private with a chicken on your knee?"

[verse 2]
The only man for me is now a private in the army
There's nothing on his sleeve
'Cept me when he's on leave
He's such a handsome lad
No wonder girls go mad
When he kisses you,
Boy he kisses you,
And that ain't bad
I'll be the happy one
When he comes marching home
I'll hold my head so high with dignity
The only man for me is now a private in the army
And I hope that I'm the chick upon his knee

[chorus 2]
"I'd rather be a private than a colonel in the Army,
We always have more fun
When our daily work is done
And when he goes on hikes,
In ev'ry town he strikes
All the girls discover me
And they smother me with things I like
But girlies act so shy
When colonel passes by,
He holds his head so high with dignity;
So would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder
Or a private with a chicken on your knee?"