Why Do They Call a Private a Private?

Performed by Ethel Merman
Recorded 1944
Written by Frank Loesser

Intro:
"Hiya fellas, this is Ethel Merman. I'm gonna sing a song for V-Discs that I know all you G.I.s will really appreciate. It was written by Private Frank Loesser, and it's called, Why Do They Call a Private a Private? Well now let me tell you all about it. And please don't crow."

I know why they call a corporal a corporal
Because he's got two stripes
And I know why they call a sergeant a sergeant
Because he always gripes
Yes I know almost all the military types
But, Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When each night is a pubic event?
The Pennsylvania Station
That crossroads of the nation
Has nothing on a regular army tent
They snore and snore and snore all night
They drop their shoes they light the light
It's heck to haveta smell a regiment
Have you been marching?
Why Do They Call a Private a Private
when each night is a public event?

Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When there's nothing more public on earth?
Take military travel
It makes your nerves unravel
The army's really getting its money's worth
In any other walk of life
You'd think that you were man and wife
The way you've got to share a lower berth
Your feet are icy
Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When there's nothing more public on earth?

Now Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When his life is a public affair?
A hundred other rookies
Enjoy his mother's cookies
And read his mail
And follow his underwear
And every time he's gotta go
A fellas got to go ya know
With seven other fella sittin' there
He's got my towel yas
Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When his life is a public affair?

Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When he's only a public G.I.?
They oughta call him Rover
He flies and fleas all over
There's always lots of company for a guy
And if he ever gets a shower
He's gotta wait on line and hour
It's murder if he's modest and he's shy
The joint is crowded
Oh Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When he's only a public G.I.?

Oh Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When his life is a public affair
The whole United Nations
Can hear his conversations
And read his mail
And follow his underwear
And if he finds a local wench
And puts her on a quiet bench
Three other guys from Yanks are waitin' there
To take a picture
Why Do They Call a Private a Private
When his life is a public affair?
Go see the chaplain
His life is a public affair

[lyrics transcribed by listening. Send corrections via the contact link on the main page]