Hirohito's Letter To Hitler

Performed by Carson Robison
Recorded April 1945
Written by Carson Robison

Dear Hitler, I'm writing this letter
Hoping you get it somewhere
I used to address you in Berlin
But now there's no post office there
I'm anxious to know how you're doing
And will it be much longer yet
'Til you send the help that you promised
'Cause I'm gonna need all I can get
You're great intuition should tell you
We'd better do something durn quick
I think I hear ancestors laughing
Oh Adolf, I really am sick
You told me the Yankees were lazy
And all too complacent to fight
You told me to strike at Pearl Harbor
And we'd rule the world overnight
But Yankees are very queer people
And we don't know just what to do
My soldiers call out, "Yank, surrender"
And they yell right back, "Nerts to you!"
There's one other problem that irks me
It's known as the B-29
And what do they mean by the 8-ball
They say they have got us behind?
Please pardon me asking these questions
But I can't help wondering now
If you stayed too long in that beer hall
And miscalculated somehow?
You promised we'd meet in the White House
And oh, how I dreamed of that hour
But the Yanks have their own secret weapon
They call it the "Ike Eisenhower"
If I had just thirty years longer
I think I could whip Shiang Kai Shek
But this man MacArthur annoys me
Can't you take him off of my neck?
P.S., as you gaze in your crystal
To learn what the future will be
When Joe Stalin's face comes before you
Find out how he feels about me

[lyrics transcribed by listening. Send corrections via the contact link on the main page]