Mussolini's Letter to Hitler

Performed by Denver Darling
Recorded February 18, 1942
Written by Carson Robison

Dear Hitler, I wrote you a letter
And I used the new address you said
But Moscow returned it this morning
With a word written on it in red
It's a word I've been hearing quite often
And I know just how much it hurts
You've heard it yourself from the British
Dear Adolf, that word was "nurts"
I'm writing again for a favor
Although I feel sure it's no use
But now that Japan is your fall guy
Dear Adolf, oh please turn me loose
I'm longing so much for the old days
When they greeted me with bravos
And I like the old salute better
Without their thumb to their nose
Your Gestapo you sent here to help me
Don't know what a big shot I am
Please tell 'em their Bronx cheers annoy me
And I don't like the way they say "scram"
The last speech I made to my people
I outlined your Russian idea
And instead of the cheers I expected
I heard someone snicker, "oh yeah?"

Last night I dreamed I saw Stalin
And here's a suggestion he made
Better tell your dear old friend Adolf
To brush up on his wallpaper trade
And the next time that you see Max Schmelling
Here's something that he oughta know
The Yankees have got a new weapon
That's known as "Brown Bomber Joe"
Well Adolf, I better be closing
So heil Hitler, heil Hitler, heil!
And please don't forget that old promise
That you'd give me the whole British isle
P.S., don't think I'm complaining
But my wardrobe is looking quite sad
Can you spare me an old suit of Goering's
Maybe it won't smell too bad

[lyrics transcribed by listening. Send corrections via the contact link on the main page]